Friends Til The End Pdf Download [NEW]

Friends Til The End Pdf Download

93. As partners, we should broaden our own horizons and recognize that we can enjoy one another’s company even without whatever we may have in common. Often, we center our lives around the same area and the same people, as if they were our only, or even the only, source of pleasure and significance. In doing so, we focus our energy inward and regard the wider world as hostile. Partners each have their own circle of friends and interests, but they are best placed to fully appreciate each other and learn from one another.

We should also see one another as potential friends who we may or may not mature into a genuine friendship over time. Initially, usually when we first meet, we are only fighting for attention, trying to show who is in charge. So, we may not feel close to each other, less because we do not get along with one another than because we are afraid that we will lose what we think is our power. Then, however, as we become more relaxed and engaging with one another, we become more likely to enjoy each other’s company. We make more progress toward a real friendship because we do not feel that we need to pursue one another. What a relief! No need to chase one another around in a desperate attempt to win or to show our worth. Instead, we learn to be comfortable with one another as we do what we enjoy with one another, and we allow each other to enjoy ourselves without any underlying feelings of tension.

94. Our social interactions, like most of life, are fluid. We meet people, and they leave or arrive; we come into contact with a personal set of likes and dislikes and also learn about them; and some of these people stick and some do not.

95. For best results in support of our emotional well-being, we need to work on bringing out the best in other people rather than changing ourselves. Neither should we regard others as threats to be persuaded to change unless there is real indication of danger. Counselors’ roles, like those of therapists and doctors, require flexibility to meet people where they are rather than getting where we want them to be. If we simply try to persuade or manipulate someone this may be emotionally upsetting for them, so we should give them a choice.

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